“Oh it’s just my favorite thing mamma!” You were napping peacefully on my chest as I reflected on your last words to me before you had your last sip of mamma’s milk. You didn’t know it would be your last of course. You asked “miiilk?” as always as I was putting you down for your afternoon nap, and I had obliged this time because I knew this was it. You did your little smiley dance of anticipation as I pulled my shirt down, told me it is your favorite thing and snuggled in to nurse before drifting blissfully off to sleep. After this milky snack though, I knew I’d be putting giant band aids on my bits from then, until however long it takes for you to stop asking about “miiiilk?”. It’s a trick I read about in an article. Step 1.) Apply band aids. Step 2.) Claim you have an owie anytime your kid asks for milk, Step 3.) Show them the band aid evidence whenever they ask. Article said it might take a while, but eventually you’ll stop asking because even little ones understand an owie is not to be trifled with. But those words before your last supper (as it were) tore my heart. You’re 2, almost 2 ½ and lord knows I am BEYOND ready to get my body back. Nothing about breastfeeding is comfortable for me at this point, and I’d never thought I’d be one to nurse this long but the peace it provides YOU? The feeling of safety you seem to get from it… ahhh, I would sacrifice myself for that over and over. However… I know it’s time. You are slightly milk obsessed and we need to help you find other ways to comfort yourself. With a little gentle pressure from your school as motivation, and a looming deadline for cut off (coincides with your return to your school program next month) I had to do it. The first day was HARDDD and the tantrums were REAL real. But miraculously, as we are mere days into this process, and even though you still ask every day, there are no more tears. The visual of the band aids seems to confirm that there is no milk available and nips all questions in the bud. You even said “Oh you poor thing!” after seeing the bandages a couple of days ago and pulled down my shirt at the dinner table to show my owies to Grammy BevSue, Aunt Ruth and Jordan one Sunday afternoon LOL! So now here we are… settling into a whole new phase of this mother daughter dance where my body is no longer a tool of sustenance. This MooCow is retiring forever but she had a good run. Serving up whole cream and comfort for years... she did good. Now, time to purchase a real bra again… where do they even sell them? 😉
Aside from that milestone, 2020 has been a good and social year for you so far. You had play dates, birthday parties and family visits. Your imagination is really coming out in full force and it is SO fun to witness… you love to play dress up, give check-ups, “take orders” for food on any little slip of paper you find, love to paint, color and make up songs. One afternoon at the playground, you met a new “friend”, a young girl who was coming down the slide. You walked up to her with two fists full of sand and offered them to her. “Do you want some cake?” you asked? She tried to tell you that the dirt in your hand wasn’t food but you were undeterred. You kept offering her alternatives to cake (since clearly she didn’t want that) until she finally gave in and accepted the “raspberries” you were offering. It was cracking me up to see how your imagination was forcefully shaping the world around you and I was relieved that she gave in. I try to stay present, but feel the urge to document it all because it’s all going by so fast. You are a such sweetheart. You make me smile every day and I feel so incredibly lucky to be your mother. Happy New Year baby girl... may this one be your best one yet!