Your 5th month. I cannot articulate fully how quickly time is rushing round us… I can’t remember a time you weren’t here and yet cannot believe you are already 5 months! This month was hard for me… had to do something I’ve dreaded your entire life. I had to return to work. In the weeks leading up to D-day, my eyes would well with tears when I looked at you and your dad and grandmas would roll their eyes at me and tell me it was going to be ok. I knew it would be ok… you would be in daddy daycare part of the week, and your Grandma Connie was stepping up to watch you a couple days a week too, so you would be more than ok but I was going to miss you so very much. On the morning of, I awoke in tears, got ready in tears, said goodbye to you in tears and loud/ugly cried the entire drive to the office that first day. I had just managed to barely pull it together when I got to the Universal Studios back lot to park, but then the security guard mentioned that she hadn’t seen me in a while and asked where I had been. I told her I had had you, showed her a photo and started loud ugly crying all over again… SO embarrassing. Once I got parked, I sat in the car for a few minutes, running mental exercises to stem the tears (thinking of Walmart shoppers helps me with this somehow) and after a few deep breaths got out and made my across the lot to my office and to settle in. THEN someone asked me about you and I spent rest of the morning in hiding in the bathroom and weeping. At the end of a not-so-productive day, I rushed home to shove a bewb in your face to feed you, you fell asleep snuggled against me and for that moment all was right with the world again. And so began the pattern, wake, tear up leaving you, face time you throughout the day, work distractedly, rush home, snuggle, repeat... If it turns out you have a flair for the dramatic, perhaps you have come by it honestly J. Other than discovering the trials of being a working mother, you discovered your hands! It’s been so inspiring to see you grip things in your chubby little hands and each day improve control over them. You are still cracking up all the time, and have started “singing” with me whenever I sing to you… the most precious thing ever! You’re growing more precious by the day and that laugh… man, it feels so good to watch you laugh. You really dig a crinkle book, and have reached that pre-teething phase where we everything goes in your mouth and you are generous with the drool… still the sweetest thing, drool and all. You are a very aware little being and observe everything at all times. I’m excited for you to have to words to express what you see. You and dad have been hangin’ tough this month and it does my heart good to see the bond that is growing between you. Our family has grown immeasurably sweeter with the addition to you, and for that we are so very thankful.