“Leaving them in the morning... all snuggled in and sleepy, is a daily heartbreak. Death by a thousand cuts as I race to a place i don’t wanna be, doing work i do not love while my heart beats miles away from me, snuggled in and sleepy in my bed.” - May 21, 2018
I wrote this as I left for work on a Monday and kissed you goodbye as were sleeping on Daddy’s chest... still SOO very hard to leave you each day. This month you’ve been out in the world, as long as you were inside me & I've gone soft for you my love! We are 9 months into this journey of your life, and it sounds so very cliche but it really does keep getting sweeter. Each day you are blooming and changing and settling into the delicious skin you're in... to witness your discoveries of all things big and small is priceless. I get on your Dad's nerves with all the photo taking, but you are my favorite subject of life and I am obsessed with documenting these moments because it's all happening so fast! This month I celebrated my first Mother's day as your mom. What an honor it is indeed. We hung out at Grandma Bev Sue's with Grandma Connie and you were the sweet chunky center of the day... I love watching the world orbit around you! May you always feel as loved and joyful. It makes my heart sing to see the way they love you. I have to say, becoming your mother, and wading into the depths of this love triggered a breathtaking understanding of the sacrifices your Grandma BevSue made for me. It's come full circle. I hope that one day you understand a love as fierce as a mother's love from this perspective. It's humbling and frightening and beautiful all at once... words cannot describe how thoroughly.. This month we lunched with Grayson, strolled through the grove & checked out live music… your first concert. I took you running for the first time in my new running stroller, and while the first ride was a little wild (there is apparently a learning curve for operating these things…sorry!), by the 2nd run, you relaxed and even fell asleep. Your two bottom teeth are standing tall & proud… it looks cute, but teething isn’t fun for a nursing mamma moo cow. Ouch! In other news, you are sleeping like a champ, babbling up a storm and LOVE to laugh. Every day is an adventure & we learn something new about you… the best of mysteries revealed. I love you lil’ squeak, happy 9 months!