Happy New Year baby girl! You arrived in 2022 with fresh immunity to Covid for 90 days! While it was sad to see you sick, there is relief that you had a cushion of protection from the virus, at least for a bit so Happy New Year indeed. This winter was busy. You played LOTS with your friends, saw your first movie in a theatre (Sing 2, which you loved) had your first Benihana experience and learned first hand what it means to have Surgery. Your sinuses were 95% blocked, and you have a quarter-sized umbilical hernia so we decided to do them at the same time so you only had to be put under anesthesia once. Your friend Matilda gave you a book about what to expect at the hospital, and you were excited to have a popsicle for breakfast the morning of. Once we checked in, you were happily pointing out all the things that were like the book she got you said they would be. Fancy blue gown & fuzzy socks? check. Metal bed that goes up & down with handrails? check. Machines that beep & bloop? Check. Add in the free toy you got to pick from a cart the hospital wheeled around to little patients and you were on cloud 9. All that happy excitement changed the moment they started to wheel you away from Mommy & Daddy to the O.R. though and the tears really started. Mommy cried too! When surgery was over, we rushed to the recovery room and when you woke up you were NOT a happy camper and in a lot of pain. We brought you straight home to rest and heal which you did beautifully. Such a brave girl. It was a hard thing to go through, but you’re so much better off now! Winter 2022 flew by, but you came out on the other size healthier and ready for anything!
December 2021. After hiding out for almost 2 years of this pandemic, it finally caught us. You were diagnosed with Covid on Thursday, 12/16 as party of weekly testing for school. You first complained of a soar throat and seemed tired, so I had kept you home from school that day, but then got a text in the morning saying your test from the day prior was positive. That meant that you, me & daddy had to hunker down in isolation for the next 10 days and that it would be a very cozy Christmas. Your Dad & I also got sick, but his symptoms were more mild than ours. For the first few days, it was really sad to watch you feelings so unwell. You complained of “an arrow” in your throat, mind and stomach and only wanted to sleep “on” me. Your fever would would spike suddenly for a few minutes, and then it would go away just as suddenly. You lost your appetite and were just really tired. It was really scary for me to watch, with so much unknown about how Covid affects different people and unsure of how it would affect you. Your body fought hard though, and within a few days you felt better but because we still had to quarantine were SO bored. I tried distracting you with all manner of baking projects, we watched LOTS of TV and mostly spent the days cuddling on the couch & napping. No one could come over for Christmas, so you me & daddy wore matching pajamas, watched movies and ordered Chinese food. Not the Christmas we imagined, but so glad we all got through it relatively easily! Before all that at the top of the month, things started out busy & good. We watched the holiday boat parade with Ondine & Kai from Grammy Bev Sue’s rooftop, you had playdates with your BFF Matilda and we went to eat at the Ritz in Marina Del Rey with Grammy Martha which you really enjoyed. It was not he December we envisioned, but we got through it and for that I am SO grateful.
Fall 2021! You turned 4, you started pre-school and have all around been living your best life! We rented a unicorn waterslide bounce house for your birthday, hung a unicorn pinata and ordered you a rainbow mermaid unicorn cake at your request. (a very specific request, but we got it done LOL) It was, once again nearly 100 degrees outside, but you and your friends has an absolute blast and your party was a lot of fun. You started attending UCLA lab, and though mommy was nervous about your first day because parents aren’t allowed on campus due to Covid, you were so brave and marched right on in… whew! It has taken some adjustment, but you are settling in and making quite an impression on all the teachers, staff and administrators. Your friend AJ has also been hiding little love notes in your backpack where I find them when I clean out your lunchbox each day. He has your hair down pat… LOL! I think we can officially declare you a social butterfly! Fall is one of our favorite seasons because that means pumpkin season!!! First, we went pumpkin’ patchin’ with your friends and even though SUPER hot, you had a blast on the bumble bee ride, feeding the ducks and eating corn & shaved ice. This year, there was an aquatic theme for the family Halloween costumes. Mamma was Ursela the Sea Witch, you were an adorable little mermaid and Daddy was Aqua Man. (with a fat suit & rasta wig so creative license was taken LOL). You kept telling everyone he was going to be Aquafina Man though, because the actress Aquafina moved in across the street so the name was on your mind… funny stuff. We celebrated Daddy’s birthday at Universal Studios Hollywood where you rode amusement park rides for the first time. The minion ride was your favorite, but the Secret Life of Pets ride was a close second. We also visited the Cayton children’s museum in Santa Monica and the world largest bounce house theme park. They were a lot of fun, but exhausting. You slept well after both! You saw your first real life ballerinas in action at your friend Hunter’s birthday party… it was a fancy tea party at the Waldorf Hotel where members of the LA Ballet performed scenes from the Nutcracker. After they were done dancing, they invited the kids on stage to dance and your were feelin’ it! It was nice to get dressed up after a year plus in yoga clothes since working from home. For Thanksgiving this year, Grandma Martha was in town, plus Auntie Gwen, Uncle Donnie, Aunt Ruth & Uncle Louie… you were SO happy to have everyone over and even helped grandma Connie make the apple pie and greens. You were SO excited to decorate the Christmas tree this year, and even helped put the Angel on top. I have to say, it is delightful to see you get joy from traditions like that… to see it new through your eyes has has been heart warming. All in all, fall 2021 was busy, but glorious. Cheers!
The summer of your 3rd year was a good one my dear. It was full of friends, play, beaches, pools and even a road trip! We celebrated father’s day on a beach in Laguna that you absolutely loved, you flew a kite solo for the first time on the beach in Playa Del Rey and you had kiki’s with Grayson, and your friends Elle & Eva on your “favorite” beach in Santa Monica called Temescal Canyon beach. It’s safe to say you love the sea, the sand and the surf and I am so glad we live close enough to give your frequent access to this thing that brings you such joy. It was HOT this summer and we broke down and got a huge rainbow “splash pad” for the yard (like a waterbed/slip & slide combo) to replace last year’s unicorn sprinkler. You spent hours splashing around and living your best life which always makes mamma smile. You had fun playing soccer this year at the triangle park near our house, and had so many playdates I lost track. You are definitely a social butterfly… sometimes it’s hard to keep up with your appetite for play, but mamma tries! On a bittersweet note, you had your last day at Play Group this summer because you will be starting your new school in the fall. I’m do glad your first “school” was that one because it is a sweet little place that you grew to love. They were so sad to see you go, but know you will do great at your new school & beyond. You are obsessed with Netflix movie Vivo and watch it on a tight loop. It even inspired you to declare that you want to be a singer when you grow up (like one of the characters Marta Sandoval) so I scrounged around your dress up box and my past costumes to recreate her style. “I look just like her!” = mission accomplished. This summer, we went on your first road trip! We met Miss Anastasia, Ondine & Kai in Pismo Beach and you absolutely LOVE hotel life. You, Ondine & Kai had a blast making pillow forts, exploring the tide pools near the hotel and just playing from sun up to sun down. It warms my heart to build memories like this with you. You are a very good traveler! This summer, Daddy also commissioned the fanciest princess gown I’ve ever seen for you and you were absolutely thrilled with the result. I am in awe of the experiences your life is sure to hold because you are starting out on SUCH a good foot. The pandemic rages on, mamma is still working from home and the year has been a blur still, summer 2021 was busy and delightful!
Spring has sprung! It’s been eventful for you for sure… for someone growing up in a pandemic, you sure have had a full calendar! You celebrated Easter with friends, soaked in lots of sun at the beach, played dress up with your friends, went to the aquarium, rode on a boat and even rode your first pony! We went to Griffith Park with one of your best friend Matilda & her brother Charlie and you pet goats & bunnies, tried cotton candy for the first time and had your very first pony ride. You were SO brave and loved every minute of it. We had a neighborhood Easter Egg hunt with neighbor Romy, AJ & Corrina and a couple of other kids who live close and you loved finding those hidden eggs. We went to the aquarium of the Pacific in Long Beach and you were fascinated by the jelly fish and spider crabs. You had SO many playdates with your friends and your new Nanny Maria started! You love her and she always comes bearing gifts which doesn’t hurt. To round out this very eventful month, we went on a boat for your Grammy Bev Sue’s 65th birthday. Whew! You live a charmed life my love and I’m so happy to keep you smiling in the middle of all the world’s madness. Happy Spring!
Winter 2021! Happy New Year baby girl. We entered a new year still in the throws of a global pandemic, much to our shock & awe, but you have adjusted to face masks, zoom school and social distancing like a champ. We have a quarantine “bubble” that includes some of your besties so you were still able to play and your laughter is still THE best medicine for all that hear it. This winter, your Dad’s Duke-dom was made official (neighbor Sis signed the paper work that made it official) and you have really blossomed into your role as little Duchess if your affinity for tiaras and princess dresses is any indication. ;) You got your first soft serve ice cream with Daddy (a big hit.. HUGE) and have really found your love for baking. You and your friend AJ swapped videos via text and this little love story is the cutest! (though Daddy says that lil’ boy should keep his songs to himself… LOL!) We tried hard to keep things interesting even though we had to stick close to home. Here is to hoping that winter 2022 finds us able to go out without facemasks because the pandemic is over!
Merry Christmas babygirl! This is such a magical time of year and we dug into all of it from gingerbread houses and cookies to pictures with Santa and some reindeer! We usually take you to the Baldwin Hills Crenshaw mall to get pics with black Santa, but Covid shut all of that down this year so we had to improvise. Daddy got the outfit, beard and hat and we pulled your rocking chair in front of the tree and viola, the best Santa photos yet! You also graciously agreed to share your Daddy Santa with your friends Romi, AJ & Corrina. SO cute! This month you had a couple of fun playdates with your friends from Playgroup Matilda and Hunter and made a volcano with Grandma Bev Sue. Your Christmas was pretty sweet… both Grandmas came over, you got your first bike from your Tio Pete, an ice cream cart and ALL the princess dresses in the land. You were very pleased. It’s a strange time because we’re so locked down because of the pandemic, but a sweet time because you are blossoming more and more into yourself and I have a front row seat for all the magic. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year my love!
2020 is zoomin’… hard to believe the Holiday season has officially begun! This month also we got a new president (so thankful) and a VP that kind of looks like us for the first time! I took a photo of you in a “the next VP will look like me” t-shirt and you went viral baby! Over 30,000 people have liked the pic on various sites so far and while it’s nice to see people inspired by the image, it’s also kind of strange to have so many strangers looking at your photo. Besides that excitement, we’ve settled in to our little quarantine routine & bubble and that means you get playdates with a couple friends from school which makes you SO very happy. You had your first tea party (so fancy) and showed Rumi off to your friends. He loved the attention! (of course) I must say it’s nerve wracking to send you off to school in the midst of a pandemic but they are super cautious, follow all protocols, your pediatricians say they are for small cohort schools for kids your age so there you go… you are absolutely blossoming because of it which does my heart good. Speaking of blossoming, Daddy’s cheese business is really taking off! We went to Wholefoods in Sherman Oaks to see it on the shelves for the first time and saw his picture was up too! You were pleased. This month you made your first holiday cookies (gingerbread) and did really well, though I think your favorite part was eating the dough. You had a Daddy daughter date and got your first kite! (I may or may not have got it stuck in a tree right off the bat, but Daddy got it down… doh!). I’ve also noticed a signature pose emerging when I ask to take your picture. I have no idea where it came from or who you’re copying, but it cracks me up! I took your holiday photos, and pics with your grammys on Thanksgiving. Such a strange time, but i truly am thankful to get to live through it with you. Priceless!
Happy Halloweeeeeeeen!!! October is upon us, and this is one of my favorite times of the year. It’s even a sweeter time now because of you!! Mamma LOVES playing dress up, and now there’s a new star of the show! You & Daddy were astronauts and I was an Alien. You had the best Halloween. We had a social distance trick-or-treat evening. Me & another mom in the neighborhood stocked a few bowls of candy and put them out on some of the neighbor’s steps and then your friend AJ from Playgroup and his sister Karina joined us, as well as your friend Romy from around the corner and one of her friends Rosie. It was so cute to see your lil’ pack roam in search of treats and the neighbors really seemed to enjoy having you all in the mix. You also started soccer this month. It’s outside with masks and a small group of kids including AJ, Karina and a couple of their friends. You really like Coach Anthony, but are not big on running or following directions yet. Your favorite part of practice is when coach hands out stickers at the end… LOL. We are squeezing the most out of the warm weather we’ve been having with plenty of beach trips and swimming at Grammy Bev Sue’s. Speaking of hot weather, we “surprised” you with a trip to the Pumpkin patch after school one day but it. was. hot. SO. very. hot. You sat in the wagon and scowled at us for the most part, but eventually got into it a little bit, at least long enough to get some cute photos. You had a playdate at your friend Matilda’s from Playgroup and had the best time with her and her brother Charlie and I took you to a horse stable to see one of your favorite animals up close and personal. All in all, it was a good month. We are still in semi-lock down, but hanging with the kids in your school and establishing our own little quarantine group bubble so you can live a little. Hopefully we can get out like normal soon!
It’s September 2020… HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL!!! I cannot believe you are 3. Be still my heart this time is moving faaaaaaasssst. We weren’t going to do a party because #Covid but decided at the last minute that this party won’t stop for nobody! Sooo… queue the petting zoo! and the unicorn sprinkler! and the unicorn cake! and the mini jeep! Now, add some littles! Now that’s what I call a birthday! You had the best time living your best life with your best buds. Daddy got you a mini-jeep replica to match Mommy’s and you were tickled pink! I would say he is going to spoil you a little my darling so brace yourself for what’s to come LOL! I found a petting zoo that could be brought to the house so we didn’t have to go out and mix & mingle with the public in this pandemic and you were so sweet and gentle with those little creatures. In addition to your Grammies Bev Sue & Connie, Your best friend AJ from Playgroup and his sister Karina came, as did Elle & Eva, the daughters of one of Daddy’s best friends and Grayson even happened to be in town with Auntie Sarah. You guys played your hearts out, cuddled animals, swung on swings, ran through the sprinkler, broke open the pinata and inhaled cake. It was a giggle-ee, scream-ee, sugar-rush-ee palooza and I am so delighted that we could celebrate you in this way. I was super nervous to have everyone over because of the pandemic and felt ok originally because all was supposed to be outside and masked up, but it happened to be 100 + degrees and everyone eventually gave up and headed inside with the A/C for the cake. I held my breath for 14 days after the party hoping we didn’t have a super-spreader event and… we didn’t! Whew! Other than your birthday, you also started in-person school again at Playgroup. They are super cautious, school is held outside, the kids are kept spaced out, masked up, no toy sharing, and temperatures are checked hourly. It’s the safest it can be I guess… makes me nervous to send you, but you NEEDED the interaction with other kids and are SO very happy since you began. It does my heart well. Fingers crossed it remains a safe space for the duration of this pandemic. In other news, we spent a lot of time at the beach on Sundays because the weather is still lovely this time of year, and still go on our neighborhood walks. We even got out and explored Turtle Pond in Franklin Canyon… you were more enamored with the Ducks than the Turtles but didn’t want to leave in any case. Despite the world being locked down, you are living your best lift and that makes my heart so happy.
August! Summer 2020 is winding down but we soaked up all the sun & sea we could given we can’t move around much because of the global pandemic. You my dear are a true water baby… be it in a pool, or the ocean or a boat, you are happiest with water. To break up the monotony of sheltering in place, we rented a Duffy boat and tooled around the Marina for a couple of hours with your grammies. It was so much fun and such a breath of fresh air, literally and figuratively. You also got in a lot of little time this month, finally! Daddy’s friends were in town for their daughter Gigi’s birthday (she’s 15 days older than you) and so bunch of us, who have all been quarantining super hard, got together and you have a blast! It was amazing to hear the laughter and squeals of delight from all you little pretties and you were living your best life. We also went up to Ventura beach a couple of hours north of LA and found this nature preserve natural beach pool to explore. It was stunning, and such an idealic setting… Everywhere turned looked like postcard. We definitely have to go back! We also went to dinner at your friend AJ from school’s house and you, him & his sister lived it up in the bouncy house they set up on their deck. I wish I could bottle up the laughter from that evening… so sweet to see these memories being made. I love every minute of it. You also got your first allergy test done. You were SO brave! the doctor and nurses were so impressed with how easily you handled everything. We just drew and sung to pass the time. The verdict is in tho… you are SO allergic to dogs. Oak & Olive trees too. Ugh. Hopefully you don’t have dreams of being a dog breeder in Italy or Greece because you would be miserable! Sad to see you sneezy a lot, but so glad you are such a healthy girl over all! All in all, you had a really fun month even though the world is still not open. Glad to be able to capture this moment in time because it is truly precious.
July 2020. And still we remain inside. I get disheartened when I think of how the selfish actions of a few are holding our nation hostage to this terrible pandemic but you my dear help pull me out of that funk and into the giggly, busy present. So… silver linings working their magic again! July has felt busy to me, but I think the ever present balancing act of working from home and keeping you entertained is playing tricks on me. I am SO grateful your Grammy’s are willing and able to step up how they have. We are incredibly fortunate and I am indescribably appreciative. We celebrated the 4th of July with your school buddy AJ and his family. They have also been quarantining pretty hard and live one street over so we hung out outside, you played, we ate some BBQ and threw your first firecrackers. Was sweet to see you livin’ your best life with the littles. You had a blast. This month we introduced a giant unicorn sprinkler to help keep boredom at bay. It just keeps getting more outlandish our attempts to keep things new and fun… I’m bracing myself for the day a pony shows up ;). Grammy BevSue’s pool opened up under very strict social distancing guidelines so we’ve been able to make appointments to swim and you have are a little mermaid. You’re getting so comfortable in the water and even plug your nose and go under… time for swim lessons! We go on plenty of walks, we sing & dance to Hamilton (your favorite) and you request a “wiggle with fangs” (wig with bangs) or a dress to set the mood for these dance breaks. This was definitely not the summer I envisioned, but I am lucky to get to spend these moments with you because it’s all going by so fast and I know what a treasure this time is. Happy summer sweet bug!
We’ve made it to summer 2020! The way this crazy year has been going that didn’t seem to be a given so go us! The pandemic, once seeming like it would last a few short weeks, is still going strong. The world has, for the most part, shut their borders to Americans because our rates of Covid-19 are soaring out of control… mostly because a lot of US citizens seem to be unwilling to wear face masks or social distance, or follow guidelines that the World Health Organization and leading scientists everywhere have laid out because… ‘Merica. Sigh. So in we remain. You had you last day of Zoom School and we did a drive-by at your school to wave goodbye to your teachers from afar and pick up your very first yearbook… ADORBS! I am hopeful that you’ll be able to attend actual school at some point in the fall but for now, we are hermit-ing hard at home. This month Daddy built you a swing set in the lower yard which you LOVE. You squeal with glee every swing and that never gets old. I’ve ordered all manner of craft kit, glitter glue and construction paper to try to fill your days with art and creativity. We’ve made masks, created paper flowers, baked and cooked. We’ve created pine cone bird feeders, walked the hills around our house, danced, sang and tried to do all we can to keep your brilliant mind as occupied as we can. Grayson & auntie Sarah came to town and we did a social distance visit in a park. You were SO happy to have someone your size to play with, even from a distance. You are REALLY needing interaction with other littles, so it did my heart good to hear and see your joy at visiting with him, if only for 1 hour on a little patch of grass. This month we celebrated Father’s day and both your Grammy’s have been coming to watch you while mom & dad work from home. Even though we’ve been home, it’s still gone by so fast. As crazy as the circumstance is, I’m glad that I’m able to be home to spend all this time with you. You are SUCH a sweet little soul and watching your change and bloom into yourself more and more each day is priceless. Happy Summer baby girl and here’s to hoping Covid goes away soon and next June finds us on some faraway tropical vacation!
May 2020. Month 3 of quarantine due to Covid 19, and what seems like day 900000874676756476878981 of trying to occupy your brilliant mind & attention. We are settling into a routine because that’s all there is to do while we hide out and wait for the tide of this global pandemic to recede. This month, both your Grammy’s started coming a couple of days a week each to keep you company while mommy & daddy work. It’s a Godsend for us all! I still try to take you on walks as much as I can around the neighborhood just to get you out of the house, and we’ve added a kiddie pool to the arsenal of tools for keeping you busy. You LOVE it… makes me wish we had a real one because you are a water baby and this would be the perfect summer to teach you how to swim. This month we celebrated Mother’s Day, you baked cakes with Grammy, had “school” via zoom a few days a week, got a new wagon from Daddy, got a Corona Virus pinata from Auntie Micaela and you got your first tea set from our neighbor Ronnie. You are so genuinely gracious with all the gifts you get and that warms my heart. In the midst of all this madness your sweet spirit and lovely sense of humor are thriving... I hope that pure joy is a constant theme in your life because to witness it from you inspires all who see it. I love you lil’ squeak and there is no one better to be in quarantine with.
April 2020. Childhood hits different in the middle of a pandemic. To say this is such a strange and surreal time is understating it all, but we are trying to adjust to the new “normal” as best we can. That means we’ve curtailed our Sunday tradition of going over to Grammy BevSue’s and you’re not able to hang out with your friends, or go to school, or leave the house without a mask on. Hard to explain to your 2 year old self why we can’t go to the playground or park but I am trying. This month we sheltered in place all month long (like the rest of the world) and you have been such a good sport. I’ve been working from home all month and while I SO appreciate the time I get to spend with you, working from home with a bored 2 year old has been “character building”. Luckily for me (and you!) Grammy Connie is still willing and able to come over a couple of days a week to hang out with you so it breaks it up a bit. When you ask me if she is coming and I say “yes” you always say “Oh I’m so excited!”. It’s very sweet. We also have settled into the routine of going to “school” via zoom meetings 3 days a week. It’s only around 30 minutes, but at least you get to see your classmates faces and your teachers. While you may wiggle and get distracted (because you are TWO) you seem to enjoy it and even said “I had so much fun learning my letters today!” after one class. It’s not a substitute for the socialization we were aiming for when we signed you up for school, but the world is shifting in light of the new reality and I’m so grateful that you have some small outlet to see other littles your age if only on screen for a bit. In terms of what we’ve done this month well… we’ve been home. Exploring alllll around home. We dyed Easter eggs for the first time, and hid them around the house. You enjoyed it, but mostly liked to peel the shells off the eggs. I was looking at your Easter pictures over the past 2 years and realized we would miss this year so I set up an “Easter bunny” photoshoot for you right here, and photoshopped you into a scene. I even put a mask on the stuffed bunny you were holding so we will always remember the current state of affairs. We go for walks in the neighborhood (masks included), make chalk art on the patio and I set up an outdoor art studio for you a few days a week too. I’ve been breaking ALLLLL the rules I had in my mind of how I would parent. Now I’m all “Here, watch TV, hold this ipad and do the thing, eat this cookie, here’s a popsicle whatever, just PLEASE be quiet for mommy’s meeting.” Sigh. We’re trying. All of us are trying. I truly hope that this is but a blip and fades in the horizon nice and easy and that the sun dawns on a new day soon but for now, we are hunkered in and sheltering right here. Happy Spring 2020 baby girl and here is to hoping that it gets better from here.
March 2020. Well that escalated quickly. We started this month with school parties and we ended with sheltering in place to combat a global epidemic. It’s a surreal time, unlike I’ve ever seen in my lifetime, and it’s heartbreaking to me that you’ve experienced it only 2 years in. Let’s start with the good stuff… Party animal. We went to a playgroup function and you my dear, know how to make an entrance. You had a really good time with your friends, danced the afternoon away to mariachi music, experienced your first pinata AND lollipop. Next up, you are officially a Jumping Bean. We ushered in the era of “sheltering in place” by getting an indoor trampoline with a safety net (a.k.a. a full on bouncy house) and you LOVE it. Thought it might help you burn off some energy and… nailed it! Another highlight? school. You REALLY hit your stride in school and look forward to going. When asked if you were excited to go you said “yes, I don’t cry anymore… I don’t do that now!” Your teachers shared with us that you are REALLY good at standing up for yourself but could be better at letting them know when you’re having issues with someone vs. handling it yourself (i.e. hitting a boy with a stick when he pushes you & yells). We’ll work on refining your technique but it does my heart good that you are no shrinking violet and will defend yourself when someone is rude or pushy (literally)… lol! Speaking of school, just as you’ve found your stride, we got notice that school will be shut down, most likely through the end of the year due to COVID-19. We have zoom calls with your class 3 mornings a week so at least you get to see your friends & teachers faces, but it’s just not how I thought this would go. We also said goodbye to Grayson and Auntie Sarah. In the middle of all this, they moved up to Northern California. We still Facetime, but it’s not the same as our weekly hangs. We broke the “sheltering in place” rule, to go say goodbye in person before they head out of town. You are really going to miss them. We are both adjusting to mommy working from home always, and though you are SO bored, you seem really happy that your family is around. We’ve been going on daily walks around the neighborhood when the weather permits so at least we can get out of the house. You got a new Elsa dress from Frozen (a Disney movie) PLUS rainbow unicorn rain boots and have embraced dressing up. Everyday. Every. Single. Day. It’s mostly the Elsa dress, but you the “sparkly beautiful” as you call it (a sweet sparkly shirt from Grammy BevSue’s friend Maria) is also heavy in rotation. All in all, March was weird, but we are healthy and you are happy so it’s allllllllllllllllll good. This to shall pass.
My funny little valentine you are SUCH a delight! This month, you went back to “school” and much to our relief you LOVE it! At last! We took a break for a couple of month because you had such separation anxiety when we would drop you off and the school doesn’t believe in “cry it out” so it was setting up a traumatic cycle for us all. With a little time to reminisce on the fact that you actually like hanging out with other littles, and us talking up the aspect of how cool it is to be brave, this time around went MUCH smoother. Whew! Now you hardly look our way with a cheerful :bye!” as we drop you off. This has been really hard for your dad, but I appreciate you flexing your independence. It seems like the adding school to your routine has really caused your little personality to shine even more… it’s amazing to witness your charm and wit blossom more each day. SO precious! We hung with Grayson and auntie Sarah almost every weekend, and even hung out with her mom Mary Jane before she headed back to Italy. You guys are like two peas in a pod and really know how to wind each other up! We explored the Coldwater Canyon park playground and the double swings, had a picnic in the park and you tried to feed the bunny sculptures, very concerned they weren’t getting enough to eat! We also attended the tribute for Maria Cozzi, one of Grandma Bev Sue’s dear friends who passed away unexpectedly late last year. She was such a kind woman, a truly beautiful soul, who has sent you some pretty sweet clothes over these last couple of years, mostly from Italy. She threw you a “grandma shower” at her home when you were a few months old and was always so generous and thoughtful… she even sent you an email here! I admire that woman and the smiles she inspired in all who knew her. I put one of the little dresses she sent you on you to honor her, and you helped spread a little joy at the celebration of life. I’m glad we were able to attend. Other than that, the month just zoomed past, but like I’ve said before, I guess we are just set to warp speed now so I’ll try to get used to it. Happy Valentines day, to the sweetest little love of my life. Muah!
“Oh it’s just my favorite thing mamma!” You were napping peacefully on my chest as I reflected on your last words to me before you had your last sip of mamma’s milk. You didn’t know it would be your last of course. You asked “miiilk?” as always as I was putting you down for your afternoon nap, and I had obliged this time because I knew this was it. You did your little smiley dance of anticipation as I pulled my shirt down, told me it is your favorite thing and snuggled in to nurse before drifting blissfully off to sleep. After this milky snack though, I knew I’d be putting giant band aids on my bits from then, until however long it takes for you to stop asking about “miiiilk?”. It’s a trick I read about in an article. Step 1.) Apply band aids. Step 2.) Claim you have an owie anytime your kid asks for milk, Step 3.) Show them the band aid evidence whenever they ask. Article said it might take a while, but eventually you’ll stop asking because even little ones understand an owie is not to be trifled with. But those words before your last supper (as it were) tore my heart. You’re 2, almost 2 ½ and lord knows I am BEYOND ready to get my body back. Nothing about breastfeeding is comfortable for me at this point, and I’d never thought I’d be one to nurse this long but the peace it provides YOU? The feeling of safety you seem to get from it… ahhh, I would sacrifice myself for that over and over. However… I know it’s time. You are slightly milk obsessed and we need to help you find other ways to comfort yourself. With a little gentle pressure from your school as motivation, and a looming deadline for cut off (coincides with your return to your school program next month) I had to do it. The first day was HARDDD and the tantrums were REAL real. But miraculously, as we are mere days into this process, and even though you still ask every day, there are no more tears. The visual of the band aids seems to confirm that there is no milk available and nips all questions in the bud. You even said “Oh you poor thing!” after seeing the bandages a couple of days ago and pulled down my shirt at the dinner table to show my owies to Grammy BevSue, Aunt Ruth and Jordan one Sunday afternoon LOL! So now here we are… settling into a whole new phase of this mother daughter dance where my body is no longer a tool of sustenance. This MooCow is retiring forever but she had a good run. Serving up whole cream and comfort for years... she did good. Now, time to purchase a real bra again… where do they even sell them? 😉
Aside from that milestone, 2020 has been a good and social year for you so far. You had play dates, birthday parties and family visits. Your imagination is really coming out in full force and it is SO fun to witness… you love to play dress up, give check-ups, “take orders” for food on any little slip of paper you find, love to paint, color and make up songs. One afternoon at the playground, you met a new “friend”, a young girl who was coming down the slide. You walked up to her with two fists full of sand and offered them to her. “Do you want some cake?” you asked? She tried to tell you that the dirt in your hand wasn’t food but you were undeterred. You kept offering her alternatives to cake (since clearly she didn’t want that) until she finally gave in and accepted the “raspberries” you were offering. It was cracking me up to see how your imagination was forcefully shaping the world around you and I was relieved that she gave in. I try to stay present, but feel the urge to document it all because it’s all going by so fast. You are a such sweetheart. You make me smile every day and I feel so incredibly lucky to be your mother. Happy New Year baby girl... may this one be your best one yet!
Merry Christmas sweet baby girl! This month was packed… from sledding and holiday parties, to your annual photo with Santa, the Clayton Children’s Museum and plenty of playtime with Grayson. Of course the Sunday tradition of hanging out at the Farmer’s Market with Dad and heading over to Grandma Bev Sue’s continued along, but I was also able to take the entire week between Christmas & New Year off so we got in all sorts of precious quality time which I so enjoyed. We made the annual trek to Baldwin Hills Crenshaw plaza to get you a photo with black Santa, and you dished out a heavy dose of your trademark side eye in return. We’ll be back, obvi. ;) You attended the Playgroup Holiday party, but instead of playing with the other kids and joining the noisy drum circle and high jinx ensuing all over the playground, you played in the water by yourself and read yourself a book. At the moment you prefer to observe the others from afar… I’m curious to see how that part of your personality unfolds as you get older. Back home, you helped me decorate the tree, and when I first put it up and turned on the lights you said “Oh thank you SO much for my tree mommy!” so sweet. You also seem to be a huge fan of Christmas music and we sang carols together every day. (you like Frosty the Snowman as a lullaby, but I only know the first words so everything else is replaced with “lalalala” in my version and still you ask for it over and over… LOL!) Daddy pulled out all the stops for this Christmas of course (I have a feeling this will be a “thing” from here on out) and you had an incredible time. You got a little gift fatigue and stopped wanting to open more presents after a while so you could play with what had already been revealed! On Christmas Day, both Grammies, Sarah, Grayson and RuRu all came over for lunch. We put matching jammies on you & G and y’all were the cutest Christmas elves ever.
And with November, the holiday season has begun! In the years right before you, I lost touch with my holiday cheer… it all just seemed like too much fuss. With the addition of you though, it warms my heart to see the seasons of giving, thanks and cheer through young eyes. It’s all sparkly and new, and I am excited at the thought of providing warm memories for you. Thank you dear girl for breathing that spirit back to life! November seems like it was busy cuz’ mamma is tired! And I guess it was… first, we celebrated Daddy’s birthday with a family day and a big carrot cake… I think that was your favorite part. The, you were the “flower girl” in Auntie Micaela’s wedding. She asked me to sing a song for their special moment, and while you heard me practicing around the house, the moment I started singing at the wedding you burrowed your face in my skirt and started to cry “NO MOMMY NOOOOOOOO!”. I tried to power through, but the more i sang, the louder your cried. That will teach me to mess with your nap time! Luckily, they had a good sense of humor and said something about it adding “character” to the moment. whew! You attended your 2nd baby shower (for Mina & Lamonica… the first shower you attended was Grayson’s!), and loved the swing chairs they had in their yard more than anythinmg. We also had our usual weekly Sunday outings to the farmer’s market to visit daddy and then to Grammy Bev Sue’s for dinner. Tia Marla, Roman & Reyes, Auntie Sarah & Grayson crashed one of those Sunday dinners and you had a blast with all the togetherness. Grammy Bev Sue, Grammy Connie, Auntie Cedra, Auntie KC, Uncle Juan, Xavion & Hasina and Matt all came over for Thanksgiving. It was A LOT of food, and you had the best time with Xavion & Hasina. At one point, I asked you a question and you looked at me with an annoyed look on your face and said “I’m just talking to the people mama!”. And so you were. I had the brilliant idea to have you and Grayson make holiday cookies, so we headed off to Auntie Sarah’s with all the fixings and while you guys definitely enjoyed yourself, you seemed to dig making a mess with the sprinkles and batter more than the actual cookies! You are blossoming into a hug-ee little social butterfly and it is the cutest. I hope your sweet pure spirit shines bright always in this big ol’ world. You bring smiles to many faces and it is such a gift to witness. Happy November my love!
Fall is officially upon us (even though it’s 80+ degrees in Los Angeles) and that means… Halloween! You have been born into a family that takes dressing up for Halloween VERY seriously. I was worried that you might be a little hesitant at all the makeup and face prosthetics your Dad and I wore for the occasion but you, my dear, fit in juuuuust fine. This year, Grammy Connie made you a bear costume from scratch. It was… ADORABLE! I know I am biased, but you were the cutest bear ever. We complimented your outfit nicely as a Lion & a Tiger and the three of us walking down the street was apparently quite a site to see. You had your first trick-or-treat experience with Playgroup (your “school”) and you loved it. I have to say, seeing all of these “firsts” through your bright eyes makes them shiny and new again for me too. While Halloween was the highlight of the month (for me at least) we also hit up the Pumpkin patch and Night of the Jacks Jack o’ lantern festival with Auntie Sarah & Grayson. You ran amok in matching skeleton pajamas and danced the night away. So happy these sweet memories are captured for you. I hope that some day you guys will look back at these photos and smile hard at the happy they inspire. As is our routine, we spent Sunday afternoons at Grammy Bev Sue’s and you have expanded your horizons from the pool to the beach. You love digging in the sand, but not so much walking in it barefoot. Chasing the birds is also a big attraction for you… so cute to watch you chase them down with pure joy on your face. I wish I could bottle that for you so you have it handy always. Time is speeding along and you are growing and learning by leaps and bounds. You love to sing, dance, read, spin and “cook”. Music is your jam and you have very specific tastes. You always asks me to play “mommy’s song” (Break it Down) and sing along at the top of your lungs. When I was 41/2 months pregnant with you, i filmed the music video for it and would have though you’d hear d it enough on that day alone but nope. So here we are standing still in traffic with “mommy’s song” on repeat. It’s breathtaking really… this rich and delicious time. But it’s passing soo quickly I feel like I’m not able to take it all in like I want to. I want to remember all of this! Every. Little. Thing. The feel of your little arms wrapped around my neck when you hug me, your soft cheeks nestled into me as you sleep, your pure joy, your curiosity about all the things. Just.... Sigh. Slow down baby girl, my heart can’t take it.
And just like that... Two!! You count to ten. You love singing the ABC’s. You love elephants and watching horse videos on instagram. You point out all the colors.... all the things actually. All the time. This is two. My ever observant baby girl... your laughter melts my heart, your intelligence keeps me on my toes, your cheeks are delicious, your love of music makes me smile and your side eye is legendary. You unapologetically take the time & space you need in any situation to assess who & what you see. You’re not one to “smile for mommy” unless you mean it and that makes those smiles all the more magical. That precious personality is coming to full bloom and it’s breathtaking to see you “become”. This is two. Yes, i am biased, but you are. amazing and I am so excited to see what all the numbers to come may bring. Happy Birthday my love!
This month you started “school” , you had your first dentist appointment AND you started potty training. It was a lot, but you’re adjusting and taking it all in stride. Your language skills are growing by leaps & bounds daily and it is SO amazing to hear you talk about what you think, how you feel and what you’ve done. You love music, and always ask me to play “mommy’s song”… the song called “break it down” whose video I shot when I was pregnant with you. You always say “here it comes!” when the beat is about to drop and i smile so hard every time. Aunt Angela & Uncle Ricky came for the weekend from Washington and while you played them cold while they were here and refused to go to either of them, after they left all you could talk about was “Where’s uncle Ricky? Where’s Auntie Angela?” Hopefully next time you see them you’ll be a little warmer. All in all, this month was a blur… a sweet blur but I have a feeling that’s just how it is going to be from here on.
We got your 2nd passport stamp this month! I didn't think we were going to be able to go on any international trips this year, but surprise surprise we did! We went to Riviera Maya Mexico with one of Daddy's clients and it was stunning. As always, you are such a chill little traveler. You did so good on the plane (slept almost the whole flight home) and seemed to really dig Mexico. You even started saying "Gracias" to the waitstaff who brought you your almond milk. We went on your first boat ride on a catamaran to Isla Mujeres and you were just taking it all in. One thing I appreciate about you is your ability to nap anywhere, as long as I can put you in the baby carrier, you're good to sleep and it doesn't matter if we are walking the streets of Cuba or Mexico, or on a boat or in a van, you will sleep. It's amazing. Back in the United States, you had a couple of play dates this month and it's super cute to see you interact with other little humans. You love them and are a hugger and a giggler. Because of your side eye habit (ahem) I worried about your socialization, but with the littles you are all in! This has been a sweet summer and i cannot believe you are almost 2. I came across photos from last year at this time and my how you've grown & changed... it's all happening so fast! You are a little chatter box now, and while we don't always understand you, you chat away. You love music and singing, and LOVE to dance with mamma. Your spirit is so sweet baby girl. I pray that remains always. What a delicious time its been and cheers to the joys your 2nd year is sure to bring.
July baby! This was a fun month for us… you took in some Jazz at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art Jazz nights, you had play dates with Grayson, you hung out with Auntie KC & Hasina, you rode in the bicycle trailer for the first time AND you had your first day of “school”! Whew! It was a lot, but you are such a chill little human who really enjoys yourself wherever you are. It’s amazing to watch you observe the world… you have more words and observations everyday and I can’t wait until you can fully articulate to me what you are thinking. Your new thing is to ask strangers “how are you?” after a cheery “hello”… it’s super cute and they get so flustered and happy that this little sweet faced baby is asking about them. Your love affair with your grammies is going along as strong as ever and your position as a Daddies girl is firmly set. This month went so fast, as all of them do now. Your little milestones and firsts are such a delicious marker of time. It has been a fun summer, but it’s not over yet! We have some things in store for you in August that I’m sure you’ll enjoy. It’s so fun sharing this big’ ol’ world with you my love. It just keeps getting better and better. Happy July love bug!
June. This month was another whirlwind. I feel like that’s just going to be how it is from here on out… your constant growth and daily changes are such a marker of time! This month, we got you back on a plane, but this time for happy reasons… girls trip! We flew to Seattle, just you & me, to go to Sakara’s graduation from Fashion School. We stayed with Grandma BevSue at a sweet little airbnb apartment in the Belltown area of downtown Seattle. It had a gorgeous rooftop view, was close to Seattle Center and Pike Place market and was the perfect home away from home for us for a few days. Sakara showed her final clothing line in a fashion show finale with the other 20 graduates and the show was so impressive! A packed house, the models walked out to some groovy techno music that you really enjoyed. At one point you got so overcome with it all that you started drumming on the head of a poor, unsuspecting woman who was sitting in front of us. Oops! (and really funny) It was a treasure to show you around my home town and baby did we explore. We walked from our place to the Seattle Center and took you to the Seattle Children’s museum which is an amazing place. It had SO many things to do, with different rooms set up like all sorts of things (a grocery store, a theater, a construction zone, an optometrists office etc.) but ALL you wanted to do was put fake tomatoes in a mailbox and take ‘em out again. It’s the little things I guess, LOL! We also walked to Pike Place Market and your favorite part of that was a large brass Pig. You are such a little love bug. You got to meet more of your extended Village, my childhood friends Kristy & Sarah (plus all of Sarah’s kids) and my God mamma Gwen & Family. It feels amazing to lay the foundation for these sorts of Childhood memories for you. I look forward to many, many more. Back home, you had play dates with Roman at LACMA Jazz night and Grayson at he and auntie Sarah’s new home. I asked you guys to hug for a photo, and you guys went in for a kiss! I guess you liked it, because you demanded another… not so sure how to feel about that, but I got it all on camera so we can discuss when you’re older. ;) You are mamma’s love bug through and through and I feel so lucky to be walking through this life with you. Happy Summer 2019 my sweet… may it get better and better always.
Spring as sprung, pool season is officially upon us and you are growing and developing by leaps & bounds daily. This month was hard for me… my father, your grandfather Ron passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack. We text that Monday about cute photos of you in a cowboy hat, and on Tuesday he was gone. Grief is breathtaking. You never know when he’s coming and then he springs up like the jack-in-the-box you never wanted and kicks the air from your lungs. I hope you are never well acquainted with him… I really do. The silver lining of it all as that we went to the Tri-Cities (where I was born) for the funeral, got to hang out with Grandma Martha & Uncle Brian and, you got to meet family that you may not have otherwise met. You are such a good little traveler. You slept mostly on the plan (thank you!) and seemed really chill about your routine being turned on it’s head. This month seemed busier than normal with the unexpected travel back to Washington, but I still tried to squeeze in parks & play dates for you because lil’ mamma you are BUSY! As always, your laugh is everything and this month especially I was so very grateful for the sunshine that is you. Thank you baby girl…l keep on shining!
It’s April and spring has sprung! You are in FULL blown toddler mode and are so very excited to explore your world to the fullest extent. Your emotions are gaining intensity as you look to the world through the lens of someone exploring the amount of control they might have over any given situation, and the “happy” one is my favorite 😉. Your laughter is THE most contagious. I watch videos of you laughing over and over just because of the smile that precious sound puts on my face. This month you had play dates with humans your own size (usually you hang with the adults but I do try to get you in the mix with littles!), took a reluctant picture with the Easter bunny, got a new car toy that you absolutely love AND hunted for Easter eggs for the first time with your god brothers Roman & Reyes. They took such good care of you… it was really sweet to witness. Grandma Bev Sue’s pool is open for the season, so we took our first swim. You, my dear, are a bonified water baby and I really need to get you swim lessons ASAP! You love story time, are focused on mastering the spoken word and it is adorable. “I see you” is still a favorite but every day it seems your repertoire grows by leaps & bounds. Grandma Connie gives me a full report on what’s new when I get home from work and it is astounding how quickly you are learning all the things. The act of going putty IN the potty started to click for you and for the first time you signaled that you needed to go “boo boo” and held it until we got you seated… halleloo!!!!!! That deserves high fives all around. GAME CHANGER!!! You are really bonding with Rumi and he is very patient with you (thank goodness). You say hi to him first thing each morning and it’s too cute. You are not one to rush into any situation, you sit back and observe and slowly warm to whatever is going on. Not afraid or shy, just watching and gauging how interested you might be in participating. You love playing dress up, are slightly obsessed with shoes (you might have come by that honestly) and have personality plus! It’s magical to watch “you” unfold. I am amazed how full my heart feels at the mere thought of you. All mothers say it, but you can’t really explain it until it’s you, watching a being you carried within, blossoming into a full-blown human with thoughts and feelings of their own. It’s breath taking really, and I am excited to see what’s next. Happy Spring my love, may this be the best season yet.
You my dear, are BUSY! You love exploring this world, and are thirsty for knowledge. You point to each thing demanding to know what it’s called. First thing in the morning, your eyes open and you start pointing as if you confirm that everything is still the same each day… each morning sound something like “yes, that’s mommy’s nose. Yes, that’s daddy’s eye. Yes, that’s the dog..Yes, that’s the blanket.” and until we answer each point to your satisfaction, you will continue to point and “huh?”. It brings a smile to my face I must admit. When you’re grown, you take for granted that things are called what they are called, so it’s fun to see your wonder at all the words. Speaking of words… you are really upping your chatter game and have started to advance to sentences even. “I see you!” is a favorite saying of yours. We went to a birthday party for little Wade where some of the bigger kids were playing soccer and running on the field and this little girl did a somersault in front of you and you exclaimed “oh wow!” You are obsessed with balls, hats, the outside, the song “Baby Shark”, Rumi (not sure how he feels about it)) and putting on shoes. It’s SUCH a sweet time to know you… I love it so much. It takes my breath away how much I am digging being your mother. Thank you for choosing us sweet pea and happy March!
Happy Valentines Day Sweetheart! You are definitely our funny valentine. Full of personality, your cheeks are impossibly delicious and you give the best hugs on earth… in all of history. (I may be a smidge biased, but it’s how I feel) This month you got your seemingly once-annual cold. It is so very sad to see you sick, and not have the words to explain why you feel like you feel. You were a trooper though, just really sleepy for a few days but then you rallied to play and laugh like always. (despite the ever-running nose and cough) This month you discovered daddy’s shoes, and love standing in them and trying to walk… you are SO strong because those suckers are heavy! February was kind of low-key for us though because you were sick AND it was stormy outside a lot of the time so we stuck indoors and “tried” to keep you occupied with music and toys. Toward the end of the month when you were feeling better, you were glad to see the weather change for the better so you could spend a little time outdoors. The month was done in a flash, and as always you keep getting better and better.
Happy New Year Baby girl!!! 2018 saw a lot of firsts for you… your first steps, your first plane ride, your first laugh… such a delicious time to know you! I’m pretty excited about 2019 though I have to say. So far we have your first words (beyond mamma & daddy) and your first stomps and ball bounces… can’t wait to see what is in store. We are officially in toddler hood and let me tell you little mamma it is a WHOLE new ball game. No longer can I sit you in one place with a pile of toys and you sit still. You are all about exploring this world and your dark, bright eyes drink is all in. You watch EVERYTHING and it’s both awe inspiring and nerve wracking because we want to make sure to set the best example. This month you got your first pair of truly big girl shoes and you love ‘em! You point to them so we put them on your feet and then you delight at stomping all over the house. it’s super cute. You love to play the piano (big & small), love to read to yourself or have us read to you and LOVE your bubble baths. You are quick to laugh, and still dole out a healthy dose of side-eye to all. I want you socialized, but appreciate that you can “vibe” people away with a look too… not sure what that says about me. :) This month we took you to your first indoor kids gym called bounce LA and you loved it while I died a little on the inside at the germs of it all. You had a play date with Jordan and you guys had a blast… it was funny to watch you enjoy each other so much even though you don’t have words. We had lunch with Auntie KC and you showed her your love of walks and circles and you displayed your personality plus all day every day. My love for you unfolds more and more each day as you grow into your skin. Each day is a new discovery, and it just keeps getting sweeter. Happy New Year my love… may it be a glorious one!
This month you went on your 2nd plane ride to Hawaii! Grandma Connie and I signed up to run the Hawaii Marathon in Waikiki, my first race after having you .We decided to make it a family vacation so Dad & Grandma Bev Sue came too! I was nervous about the race because I broke my toe tripping on your pack & play a couple months ago, but it went well and I was able to finish w/out limping! The course was stunning, but mostly hills so kinda rude, but it was so nice being in paradise with our family. Much of the exploration of Oahu we did was in search of food Dad heard about, but we also checked out the North Shore and took a pretty ride across the island. You are such a good little traveler. You like the sand, and running the hallways of the hotel. Can’t wait to explore more of this world with you.
We went to a holiday party at Auntie Roxanne’s house where you saw more kids than ever. You and Grayson toddled around, while the big kids made Christmas cookies… you had a good time! This month you also had your 2nd Christmas. We had brunch at our house with both grandmas, plus Ruthie & Jordan came. You me & Dad got all corny and decked out in matching Christmas pajamas. I look forward to looking back at pictures of this tradition in years to come… you’ll probably be embarrassed by it some day, but until then I' will revel in every corny moment. New Year’s Eve was quiet. In the day time we took in the views from Grandma Bev Sue’s rooftop deck, and had a pajama jammy jam with Grandma Connie in the evening. You are so loved little girl. It makes my heart swell to know it. I’ve loved you from the moment I knew you existed, but as I get to know you, that feeling grows more and more. I hope you had happy holiday’s this year, and I look forward to celebrating all of life with you forever more.
Viva Cuba! The first stamp on your lil’ passport was a success! We went to Havana Cuba to celebrate Dad’s 50th birthday. You were such a chill little traveler. You napped on me throughout the streets of old Havana and seemed to take your new surroundings in stride. It really was a magical trip and i am so excited to show you the world so you can see this thing called life from many perspectives. Traveling is a beautiful and humbling experience and i’m glad we can share it with you. Thanksgiving was also this month, and your bff Grayson came so you had the best time! You also got to hang out with your Great Grandmother Martha, and though you gave her a healthy dose of your side eye at first, you warmed up and love her like I do! You also got your 2nd picture with Santa this month, and you weren’t so keen on him and never quite warmed up. We’ll never force you to sit in his lap, but your “I’m not amused” expression for just being near him was pretty funny. Time, as usual, is flying by, and you are “becoming” more and more each day. Such a sweet little journey to witness.
Ah, my little love bug… you walk! You finally took your first steps and now there is no stopping you. Luckily I caught the glory on camera, and you were so very proud. I was too and so grateful that I was home to see it! One of the things that tears at my heart is thinking of the milestones I might miss out on when I’m at work… but you waited for me. ;) This month was Halloween… a big deal in our house as you will come to know. Grandma Connie made me & your Dad’s costume, and fancied up yours so you would match me. You were the cutest little fairy in all the land! You weren’t too freaked out by your parents crazy makeup, and i appreciated your bravery. This month we were able to fit in a play date with Grayson, and made sure to have you in your matching sweatsuits. You guys are too young to protest and for that, I am happy because it was too cute! You really love hanging out with him… makes me realize I need to get you around more children! This month we were gearing up for your first plane ride… I was nervous but you really were a good little traveler. As usual, it was all a blur. You’re growing and changing daily. You are independent, love to “read” to yourself and have such a sweet, strong little voice. Happy 14th month my love!
You’re grown now little bean… or so it feels as I contrast your busy, motion-filled independence with the sweet, still, dumpling state you were in a sliver over one year ago. You are amazing. A breath of pure fresh air at the end of each day when i return home from work. You love to laugh. You love to be chased as you crawl around the house… you shriek in delight when you hear my footsteps closing in. You read to yourself and it is the most adorable thing ever. You love the cornbread grandma Connie makes, and you LOVE your Dad.
This month you learned to stand alone, all on your own and took your first pee in a potty. You learned to open the bottom drawer in the kitchen and revel in taking out ALL the things and putting them back. You met your great Aunt Angela ( my father’s sister) and you explored your upper vocal range in public whenever you got the chance. You splashed around in Grandma BevSue’s pool, and explored her rooftop deck for the last time this season. You are so incredibly curious…and love your sweet look of concentration and determination as you dig in to figure out all the things. My little explorer, daddy’s girl and mamma’s cuddle bug… you grow more wondrous with each passing day. You are so loved little one. Thank you again for choosing us.
“As I cuddled her to sleep last night, i watched her. I mean i just stared at her... those long lashes laid flush to soft cheeks, chubby fist raised & clenching invisible dreams, and the steady rise & fall of her chest. I watched in total awe of the rhythm of her. How, with her first breath she somehow filled space in me I didn’t know was empty. How the music of her, her squeaks and cries and laughter, has become my heart song. In awe of how I’ve only known her a year, but feel like I’ve loved her forever. I thought I understood “love” before but, as I lay open & numb on the operating table one year ago today and heard that strong, pure cry, I was crushed by a wave so intense it took my breath away. This parenthood thing is a trip. It makes you feel a fierce determination to protect this lil’ soul from life’s sharp edges, but also turns you soft so you post blubbering, mushy messages about them on social media that they’ll never see. And so it begins... Happy First Birthday my love.” – Mom, September 5 2018
“Happy 1st Birthday, Jaxon!! I am honored and humbled by your choice to have me as your father. In this privileged position I will endeavor to protect you and keep you safe from harm, but more importantly I will show you life. I will lay before your eyes everything so that you will know that you have choices and your choices are infinite. You can be whatever being you can imagine and then you can choose again as often as you like.
I understand that you are a whole and separate human - a soul with her own set of purposes. I honor that and will assist you in every way.
My love for you is and will in all ways be active and present. I will forever stand in excited awe as I watch you unfold. You, Jaxon, are my reason!” - Dad, September 5, 2018
You are one year old my dear… we made it! I was such a ball of anxiety for the first few months of your life, so afraid to make a mistake and hurt you. You were so small and delicate but now… NOW you are filling out the skin you’re in and blossoming into a full-fledged little human. It’s amazing to witness. Truly amazing. This month you socialized more than ever in your short life. We had a kiki with auntie Sara and her mom, friend Kristina and baby Grayson at Grandma Bev Sue’s and you watched the older kids on the rooftop so closely. I wish I knew what you were thinking! We also had a small birthday party for you in Holmby Park and you were definitely the bell of the ball. It was the most people you’ve had in your face ever and you did great! I had to wake you up from a deep sleep to take you to your part so your side-eye game was strong in the beginning, but you warmed up after a while and really seemed to have a good time. You are THISCLOSE to walking and we are just not ready for it, but like time passing, it seems it will be sooner than later. Your curls are really starting to come in, and I am so excited for the future afro puffs coming your way! You love to laugh with me… and love to give newcomers a healthy dose of side-eye until you warm up to them. You are still obsessed with Rumi and monk, and mommy & daddy’s phones. Grandma Connie got you a little computer and Grandpa Ron got you your own tablet… hopefully now you’ll leave our stuff alone! ;) As always, the month and year was a blur. Hard to believe that one year ago we met you, because it seems like you’ve been in our lives always. Happy 1st Birthday love bug!
11 Months into this thing called life and I am more in awe of you each day sweet girl! In each moment it seems you learn something new and are changing fast! You are so smart, and it’s clear to see you will keep us on our toes from here on out. We’ve gone swimming at Grandma BevSue’s a couple of times this month, and you seem to really dig the water. You love to splash (in the tub too) and kick like crazy. It’s super cute. We went to a Lala Hathaway concert in the Marina with Grandma Connie and after giving our concert neighbors some serious side-eye and freaking out at the crowed cheering, you eventually fell asleep in Grandma’s arms and slept soundly through most of it. You are very busy, and pulling up and standing whenever/wherever you can and it seems like you will be walking at any moment. We’re not ready! Your two top teeth finally broke through, so now you have 2 tops and 2 bottoms like a little beaver. You are, as always super vocal and “talk” to us all the time, with determination and volume . You had your first “swing” in holmby park… you loved it! You blew me kisses and grinned the whole time. You and Dad came to visit me on the Universal Lot where I work and I gave y’all a mini tour. You were so relaxed on the golf cart and seemed to like taking in all the new. You also had your first beach day this month with baby Grayson & Aunty Sarah and Tia Marla and her crew. You charmed them all with your disdain for the sand and serious expression (LOL) and her mom has decided you are also her granddaughter so now you have an extra Abuela too! Sakara came to visit and while you stared her down pretty tough at first, you eventually gave her a little smile. You are shaping up to be quite the night owl and not so much a morning person just like your mamma, and some of my favorite moments are holding you first thing in the morning and trying to nurse you awake. You look so sweet and peaceful with lashes on cheeks and milk dribbling down your chin... It’s an amazing feeling that words cannot do justice. You are obsessed with Rumi, your Dad, your Grandma Connie and peekaboo. You blow kisses, and wave hello (first thing in the morning when you open your eyes, you wave at me ) Cheers to 11 months… can’t believe a year is closing in on us. Being your mother is amazing, I’m so glad you chose us!
10 months. Just wild that we find ourselves here already. I feel like I’ve known you forever yet like you were just brand new! This month was lot of firsts for you… makes my head spin how much you learn is such a short amount of time. Crazy! This month you crawled, you stood, you celebrated your first Father’s Day with Daddy, attended your first pool party and felt grass for the first time as you took in your first Latin Jazz concert in the park. You are such a plump dumpling of a human and it is SO satisfying to squeeze on your lil’ legs and feet… I cannot understate this. You are blossoming into such a Daddy’s girl… he is where you want to be! You are with him 4 days a week while I work (and with Grandma Connie for 2 of those days) and you LOVE Daddy daycare. On the one hand, it’s so sweet to witness your bond and how safe and sure you feel with him, on the other hand it makes me sad when you pull away toward him and I wish I could explain to you that I would love to be the one with you always, but mamma brings home the health insurance. I’ve come used to it, but just know that you will always be the apple of my eye, even when I’m away at work. The favorite part of my day is still coming home to you, your smile and your laugh. Your laughter is strong and sure, and so very delicious to those of us who witness it, but your side-eye game is strong. You don’t so much have “stranger danger” feels as much as you have “stranger assessment” feels. That assessment process means you will stare anybody down, unsmiling and unbothered, no matter how high pitched the baby talk and compliments being thrown your way... It’s pretty funny to witness. In contrast to the joy I feel at watching you grow and learn, it’s is a strange time in the U S of A for mothers whose children are taken from there as they come here for better lives… I hope it’s a short footnote in our history books, but for now, they’ve separated families at the border who come here illegally with no plan it seems on how to re-unite them. 9 months is the age of the youngest child immigrant detainee at a facility in New York, and the same age as you were this month my love. I would move mountains for you. I’ve listened in horror, I’ve cried, I’ve called my representatives in support of keeping families together and have donated money and yet feel so damn useless in this. So I cuddle you, my little nugget extra hard and hope that somehow we all find our humanity in this. I hope you are surrounded with love and joy for a long time mi amor and that the sharp edges of this world don’t make your radar. You are lucky already and SO very loved my sweet. Happy 10 months!
“Leaving them in the morning... all snuggled in and sleepy, is a daily heartbreak. Death by a thousand cuts as I race to a place i don’t wanna be, doing work i do not love while my heart beats miles away from me, snuggled in and sleepy in my bed.” - May 21, 2018
I wrote this as I left for work on a Monday and kissed you goodbye as were sleeping on Daddy’s chest... still SOO very hard to leave you each day. This month you’ve been out in the world, as long as you were inside me & I've gone soft for you my love! We are 9 months into this journey of your life, and it sounds so very cliche but it really does keep getting sweeter. Each day you are blooming and changing and settling into the delicious skin you're in... to witness your discoveries of all things big and small is priceless. I get on your Dad's nerves with all the photo taking, but you are my favorite subject of life and I am obsessed with documenting these moments because it's all happening so fast! This month I celebrated my first Mother's day as your mom. What an honor it is indeed. We hung out at Grandma Bev Sue's with Grandma Connie and you were the sweet chunky center of the day... I love watching the world orbit around you! May you always feel as loved and joyful. It makes my heart sing to see the way they love you. I have to say, becoming your mother, and wading into the depths of this love triggered a breathtaking understanding of the sacrifices your Grandma BevSue made for me. It's come full circle. I hope that one day you understand a love as fierce as a mother's love from this perspective. It's humbling and frightening and beautiful all at once... words cannot describe how thoroughly.. This month we lunched with Grayson, strolled through the grove & checked out live music… your first concert. I took you running for the first time in my new running stroller, and while the first ride was a little wild (there is apparently a learning curve for operating these things…sorry!), by the 2nd run, you relaxed and even fell asleep. Your two bottom teeth are standing tall & proud… it looks cute, but teething isn’t fun for a nursing mamma moo cow. Ouch! In other news, you are sleeping like a champ, babbling up a storm and LOVE to laugh. Every day is an adventure & we learn something new about you… the best of mysteries revealed. I love you lil’ squeak, happy 9 months!
“Becoming” a mother… it’s happening in waves for me. Yes, I was a mother the moment you emerged, but the intricate relationship and knowing and love for you that began to form from that first breath, washes over me in waves with more intensity each day. You’re 8 months old now and have SUCH a sweet little spirit. Your laugh… man, I can’t articulate fully how full that little bell of a laugh makes my heart. You are definitely a girl who knows what she wants, and is not shy about making sure those around you know it too. You have your first two teeth, standing attention at the bottom of your little mouth and can now sit up from flat all on your own. You are super alert, always watching, super vocal and absolutely MUST taste test everything… Unless it’s the actual solid(pureed) food we’re trying to feed you, then you don’t really see a need for it. You have a new high chair aimed at making meal time a “thing” but still, you’re more interested in sitting in that chair and playing the top like a master percussionist ;). I know a love of food will come for you in time, but I’m nervously eyeing my “I’m gonna breastfeed until she’s a year old” timeline because you are still ALL about mamma being the moocow and that’s all you want at 8 months in. You got your first passport this month… now we need to plan an international trip and get you some stamps on it! We plan to make you a citizen of the world with experiences far and wide to give you a healthy appreciation for this world and it’s flavors. You really dig bath time and have begun to really show your power kicking skills whenever you’re in your tub … the bathroom needs a good mopping when we’re done with your nightly bath because of your love of splash, but it’s super cute and worth it. You got in a pool for the first time this month, with dad. He was SO excited to put you in the floaty he got you, but you were not as excited about it all… I think the water temperature had much to do with it so we shall have to try again when the 90 degree weather starts to hit. This month passed like a blur, but I have a feeling that’s just our new normal. You are growing more and better each day and I am so very excited to see what each day brings new for you. We love you much baby girl… happy 8 months!
SEVEN MONTHS!!!!!!!!! I know I say this every month but holy buckets time seems to be set on warp speed… a few short months ago you were like a little noodle who couldn’t make a deliberate move and now you are sitting and grabbing, SO very mobile for one who doesn’t crawl and definitely a girl who knows what she wants. You will roll your way to it with determination and it is a wonder to see. You are also VERY vocal and really in to exploring your range… the high notes especially. Your dad still doesn’t dig the nick name “little squeak” but I have to tell you, you earn it more and more each day. This month “we” have settled in to a routine at long last (read “I”). First “we” had to adjust to you (and you to us) all while I was healing from surgery, then I went through the trauma of returning to work and found myself a bundle of raw as I dealt with the daily heartbreak of leaving your side for most of my days, but now I have slowly un-clenched from that agony and each day is easier so we are finally settling in. I leave you with a full bottle in your dad’s arms in the morning, and Face Time you throughout the days (my favorite thing each day when we’re apart) and in the evenings when I get home I rush in and scoop you up from your Dad or Grandma Connie, cuddle you, feed you and we get ready for the next day. You tried solid food for the first time this month… your first meal was a steamed, puréed sweet potato. You’re not sold on the need for solid food yet. You take in each spoonful as I give it, and then push it out of your mouth by sticking out your tongue. You like bananas & plums ok but looked at me crazy when i attempted to give you squash and avocado. You also took your first photo with the Easter bunny this month. We dressed you up in frilly pinkness and carted you up to The Grove unsure how you’d take it. After giving him a slow, ice cold once over and sitting stoically for the first couple of shots, you finally gave up a slight smile and the photos are cute so... worth it!! You went on your first hike (really more of a nature walk) at Franklin Canyon, sleeping through most of it, and went to your first ladies brunch (plus baby Grayson). I guess it was a pretty action packed month, and you are taking it all in stride. You’re 7 months old & the physical reminders that you were once a part of me are dissipating. My linea nigra, that dark line that marked my center as my belly swelled and grew darker as you grew stronger and bigger inside me, is fading. The scar where they cut you out of me, raised, red and raw a few short months ago, is healing to a flattened, hard line, numb to the touch. Rushing in their place are physical signs that you are a fully formed being outside of me... the tiny crescent marks your nails leave in my skin when you squeeze my arm as you feed, the strained tendons in my wrist from holding you and the new click in my hip from balancing your weight, because up is where you wanna be. It’s physically harder than I ever thought, and more glorious than I ever imagined. I wouldn’t change a thing.
6 months!
Holy buckets time is moving quickly… I can’t take it! This was a month of milestones. Sitting up is your new jam! 11 wobbles and a face plant later and you got it… It is breathtaking to see your little brain figure stuff out! Seeing life through your eyes is such a gift… one that I imagine will only get sweeter with time.
You also got your first bad cold, I mean a juicy cough, ever-flowing nose kind of cold. It is heartbreaking to watch as your parents because there is nothing we can really do for you other than love on you and try to keep you a little upright so you can breathe while you sleep. You are still in good spirits… you got me sick and are SO amused by my cough. Even when I cough in the middle of the night, your little laughter rings out in the dark. Funny stuff. Ugh, I truly hope that the last cold you get in life… gotta brush up on my magic skills to make that happen ;).
You’ve now blossomed into someone who is A LOT more social than you were. You went through a phase (read, your WHOLE life until now) where you did not want anyone but your Dad or I in your space. If anyone else held you, or looked at you too long for that matter, out came the lip, and on came the tears. Loud, red-faced, WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING ME? stranger danger tears (even if it was your grandmothers who you know well, and see often) but suddenly, the clouds have parted and you will tolerate being held by others (HALLELUJAH!:))… you may not be super smiley about it, but you’re no longer pitching fits about it so I take it as a win. You are a chunky monkey … mamma’s milk is doing you WAY good. I realize that I need to come to terms will fact that your thighs are not made for pants at the moment, so we’re gonna have to onsie it up for a bit until you get through this deliciously chunky phase. Your thigh rolls are amazing, and so satisfying to squeeze on. You are “talking” A LOT and love it when I sing the note back to you that you’re hollering. Your instant smile when I sing your favorite songs (you are my sunshine, and somewhere over the rainbow) is everything to me. Seriously just… sigh and swoon. I love you baby girl. These 6 months have expanded my heart and mind in ways I thought impossible and it just keeps getting better as we get to know each other. Thank you for coming here.
Your 5th month. I cannot articulate fully how quickly time is rushing round us… I can’t remember a time you weren’t here and yet cannot believe you are already 5 months! This month was hard for me… had to do something I’ve dreaded your entire life. I had to return to work. In the weeks leading up to D-day, my eyes would well with tears when I looked at you and your dad and grandmas would roll their eyes at me and tell me it was going to be ok. I knew it would be ok… you would be in daddy daycare part of the week, and your Grandma Connie was stepping up to watch you a couple days a week too, so you would be more than ok but I was going to miss you so very much. On the morning of, I awoke in tears, got ready in tears, said goodbye to you in tears and loud/ugly cried the entire drive to the office that first day. I had just managed to barely pull it together when I got to the Universal Studios back lot to park, but then the security guard mentioned that she hadn’t seen me in a while and asked where I had been. I told her I had had you, showed her a photo and started loud ugly crying all over again… SO embarrassing. Once I got parked, I sat in the car for a few minutes, running mental exercises to stem the tears (thinking of Walmart shoppers helps me with this somehow) and after a few deep breaths got out and made my across the lot to my office and to settle in. THEN someone asked me about you and I spent rest of the morning in hiding in the bathroom and weeping. At the end of a not-so-productive day, I rushed home to shove a bewb in your face to feed you, you fell asleep snuggled against me and for that moment all was right with the world again. And so began the pattern, wake, tear up leaving you, face time you throughout the day, work distractedly, rush home, snuggle, repeat... If it turns out you have a flair for the dramatic, perhaps you have come by it honestly J. Other than discovering the trials of being a working mother, you discovered your hands! It’s been so inspiring to see you grip things in your chubby little hands and each day improve control over them. You are still cracking up all the time, and have started “singing” with me whenever I sing to you… the most precious thing ever! You’re growing more precious by the day and that laugh… man, it feels so good to watch you laugh. You really dig a crinkle book, and have reached that pre-teething phase where we everything goes in your mouth and you are generous with the drool… still the sweetest thing, drool and all. You are a very aware little being and observe everything at all times. I’m excited for you to have to words to express what you see. You and dad have been hangin’ tough this month and it does my heart good to see the bond that is growing between you. Our family has grown immeasurably sweeter with the addition to you, and for that we are so very thankful.
Happy New Year baby girl! This month, we have... LAUGHTER! You crack up at mobiles, the dogs, mommy & daddy dancing to house music, trees or any random thing that tickles you. I wish I could bottle the feeling I get when I hear the sound of your laughter and take it with me when I go back to work. Speaking of work, time has hit warp speed and 4 months has flown by. I am a weepy mess as the final countdown for my leave ending is upon us. It has taken me by surprise how emotional I am about it all. I keep having visions of going in to work on my first day back, kicking over my desk and quitting in a blaze of glory then rushing back home to you to feel your cheeks pressed against mine always... but I digress. You also started rolling over this month... mostly to get out of tummy time which you do not dig, but a milestone is a milestone! You had your first Christmas AND your first New Year. We went to a Christmas Eve party at the Rothe's and you were the belle of the ball. Everyone was enamored with your chubby cheeks, chubby legs and sweet eyelashes. You were doing great until mommy decided to take you out of the sling she was wearing you in, to try to get a photo of your outfit in front of the tree... rookie mistake! THOUGH SHALT NOT DISTURB THE BABY WHEN THE BABY IS CHILLIN'! (lesson learned, believe me ;0). This month we spent many days walking around Holmby park, and the hills of the neighborhood... you seem to enjoy those walks when I wear you in the sling so you can take in the sights from my vantage point. I can't believe you've been here 4 months! Everyday you are changing and growing. I seems like the swaddle we've been putting you in at night is some sort of new-fangled baby plumper because each morning when I unzip it you seem to get chunkier & chunkier. The doctor says that at nearly 16 pounds and 25 inches long you are in the 89th percentile for height & 82nd percentile for weight... a big girl! We started sleep training you to get you to sleep through the night since I'm headed back to work and I think it's been harder on us than you! You are slowly getting the hang of it though , and for that I am grateful. I am also extremely grateful that I've gotten to spend these last 4 months with you... it's been such a precious time for me. You are an amazing baby. (I know I am biased but still... you are!). Your squeaks, your laughter, your cheeks... the heat of your body when you cuddle into the crook of my neck when I hold you. It's been such a sweet, delicious time. We fall in love with you more and more each day and look forward to seeing who you become.
Can't believe we've known you for three months already! Such a short amount of time that has gone by too quickly, yet feels like forever. This month you have really blossomed, both literally & figuratively. Mamma's milk is really helping you pack on the chub and the doctor says that, at nearly 14 pounds, you are in the 80th percentile for weight (you were in the 50th percentile when we left the hospital after you were born). You are holding your head up , "talking" ALL the time and laughing at jokes only you understand. Your sweet personality is emerging more & more, and I can see you are going to keep us on our toes because you are not shy about letting us know your view point. You often wake up "hangry" so I've learned to listen for your stirring noises so can shove some milk in your face before those sweet little eyes flutter open to avoid your ire;0. You attended your first & second party this month, one for your soon-to-be-bestie Grayson who is arriving in January, and one where you were the guest of honor thrown by Grandma Bev Sue's friends... you pretty much slept through both events LOL! You got your photo taken with Santa (you weren't too impressed) and I took our family photos for our first holiday cards. All in all it was a pretty action packed month but we made it kid and I'm so happy to witness all your "firsts"... it's a sweet gift from the cosmos that keeps on giving. :)
This month has been all about your smiles... you've started smiling for real! (not just for gas) I sing to you every morning, and for the first time you've started smiling back at me in response. That first little smile, with you looking me in the eye, took my breath away. I wish I could bottle the feeling and keep it with me for emergencies. In other news, the time/space continuum is STILL officially turned on it's head... you're still pretty nocturnal, and so far we are just going with your flow. People tell me it will be time to put you on a schedule soon, but for now, this is working for "us" (by "us" I mean you ;0). I'm SO very glad I get to spend this time with you uninterrupted. I have to go back to work in 2 months, and am already heartbroken at the thought of spending our days apart. I find myself bent over you with my camera trying to capture each moment so I don't forget anything. I know it's inevitable as time stretches on, but each day you grow, plump and evolve and it's all going so fast and the pictures are sweet reminders of this magical time. Your cheeks seem like they weigh something now, and each night at bath time, I have to remember to reach into the many folds of your neck to make sure they are nice and clean. ;) You had your first Halloween (a BIG deal to us, your family) and you weren't really digging dressing up on Halloween night. You rebelled against your headband, kicked off your shoe, and showed me who is boss. The next day you played nice tho, and I was able to dress you up in the adorable dress your grandma Connie made you and shoot some photos. You are a fascinating little creature who I call "squeak" because of all the little squeaky sounds you make. Dad hates the name, but it's who you are to me squeak! We've spend many afternoons walking around the park since you still can't really be out and about yet, and you've spent much time riding in a sling on the front of me while I putter around the house. Dad thinks I'm spoiling you with all the holding, but you're so new and sweet I can't help myself! Now here we are, already at the end of your second month on earth... it looks like you've doubled in size, your sweet curls are growing long and those cheeks! Slow down time! (seriously)
Jaxon, we have known you for a whole month now! No book, no amount of research and no advice can truly prepare you for this journey and even though the time/space continuum has been turned on it's head and we are bone tired, we are also so very in love with you and wouldn't trade it for the world. Getting to know you has been incredible. You seem to have a love of eating and sleeping and sleeping some more... as long as the sun is out. At night time, all bets are off ;0. Your new love of eating is a relief to your mamma because the doctors were concerned that you had lost too much weight before we left the hospital. We have been doing weekly weigh-ins at the pediatrician and just got the all clear that all is well and you are plumping up nicely. The delicious dimples forming in your elbow and the folds revealing themselves on your chunky little thighs are everything to me! I still can't drive for a few weeks per doctors orders so we've been hanging out at home with the exception of your first trip to grandma's house and your first walk around the park. The month has been surreal... i watch your chest and belly rise & fall as you sleep such peace in each moment, and listen to your little squeaks in awe. In awe that I'm a mother, in awe that you are here & are such small perfection and in awe that the best is yet to come. You are an incredible soul little girl, and we are so lucky you chose us... the best is yet to come. Thank you <3
You have been home for exactly one week today... it has been a sweet, exhausting week for us all. Getting to know you is going to be a lifelong quest, but so far you are a super relaxed baby who loves to sleep all day, and party all night. You've met you fur brothers Rumi & Thelonious Monk, and they are quite curious about you. Dad has been super helpful with round the clock diaper changes while I am recovering from surgery and you've hung out with your grandmothers, great grandma Martha and Aunt Ruth. You had your first doctors appointment and got a clean bill of health, and also had your first photoshoot with me... hard to resist those cheeks! (When your mom is a photographer, you'll have to get used to this I guess :) ) All and all, it's been the most contented of blurs... I think we're gonna be alright kiddo. <3
You were supposed to arrive with a scheduled c-section on September 6th, but on September 5th my water broke and you let us know that this is your world and we're just living in it. Your dad & I rushed to cedars sinai, feeling unprepared and uncertain of how things would unfold. Your Auntee Micaela was here too, in town from Texas for a pre-planned trip, and was sad she wasn't going to be able to meet you this time. Then you started the party early and she was happy you gave her that chance! Suddenly I found myself laying on the operating table staring up into the lights, scared, numb and unable to move with your dad's hand on my forehead, and a blue curtain stretched taught between my head and the rest of the room bustling with the business of surgery. Nurses, Doctors and the rest of the OR staff, danced around, pushing this button and that, so used to the unusual rhythm of the place. All I could feel was periodic tugging on me from beyond that curtain, and all I could hear was the beeping of machinery. Suddenly I heard a gasp and the doctor cried out "a True knot... this could be really dangerous!" and then a moment of silence. My heart started pounding but then your cry rang out so high and strong and sweet! They lifted your little head over the curtain and we locked eyes for a moment before they whisked you away for Dad to cut your umbilical chord. Lauren Hill's song "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You" was playing and the world stopped just then, the moment I laid eyes on you. Tears I didn't know were waiting to greet you sprung forth and there you were, 7 pounds, 11 ounces and 20.5 inches worth of determined, precious being with strong lungs and a powerful voice. That, baby girl, is the story of your birth and we are so happy to meet you.
Before you get pregnant, you have no concept of how it feels to have this little life take hold in your womb and fight through all odds to come to be... the whole process is a breathtaking stone cold trip. I, your mother, (so surreal to write that word related to me!) am so excited to start this journey with you Jaxon. To see who you are at the moment the first daylight hits your eyes, and to see who you will become.
When the doctor first told me that you were... you were the size of a lentil. The smallest little bean with SO much impact and in that moment of knowing my heart exploded in ways I can't explain. Every day until your arrival, I look at this picture of you and imagine what will be. Your toes, your eyes, your cheeks... everyday I look at this picture and smile.
Jaxon we, your parents, have been on this earth for a while now... been married 9 years, lived in 3 homes, had 7 cars and 3 dogs. We've traveled the world, from the Caribbean to Europe to Asia. We've started businesses, closed businesses and started over again. We've made a yearly art of showing out at Halloween, have made music together, (Dad started a record label, and mom made dozen's of songs with International DJ's & shot her last music video you on board <3) and have danced ourselves silly to house music until the wee hours of the morning. The years have been rich and full, but the sweet surprise of you has awakened an anticipation we didn't know we had in us, and we are so very excited to meet you. Even before setting eyes on you, we know you are the sweetest treasure that could be imagined and we love you dearly.
Jaxon, you can see that your father is an artist. He is a capable, handy, intelligent man who is determined to make your space and this world the best it can be for you. He's waited a long time for your arrival and is giving his all to the preparations. Your room is beautiful. He painted the walls, the mountains, the furniture.... he assembled your crib and researched all the best tools for us to have to make sure your early life is as comfortable as can be. It makes me (mom again) smile to see how excited he is. We hope you like it here. :)
Daddy designed a family crest for us... It's our signature now! The addition of you makes him want to do fancy things like design family crests... get used to it kid. I have a feeling you'll be getting the best that can be got for ever more :)
You have some amazing grandmothers! Grandma Connie is a college professor who has walked across Spain by herself, and walks marathons to this day! Grandma BevSue is an environmental crusader who had a bird conservancy art installation at an art gallery in Venice last year and is docent in the Ballona Wetlands, spreading knowledge and saving birdy lives daily. These women are resilient, kind, and raised us single-handedly while preparing us for this moment and you. They are SO very excited to meet you!
This site is about Jaxon Aeryn's journey... we hope you enjoy the ride.